A Heart to Listen

The beautiful trail of Johnston Canyon, Banff National Park, Canada

Have you wondered if you hear the voice of the Lord, or just yourself? Are you struggling to hear what the Lord is telling you? Yes, I did!!! Until the Lord helped me through how to listen to His voice. The bible says, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” John 10:27, NKJV

When you have a lot going on in your life, the noise of those unnecessary voices keeps you from hearing what the Lord is really telling you. What does it mean? Well, when I used to be a very frantic on my emotions that I could not even control it, I did not know that our emotions can steal our heart to listen. I used to be a worrier, a kind of person who overthink from the smallest issue in life yet cannot control of what’s going on. When someone said or did something that would not serve my emotions and thoughts, I could be angry, upset, or feasting on my self-pity moment. My mind thinks in a negative thoughts and just in one box instead of opening the possibilities of a different side of it. And it kept on haunting me all over again until it went down to my feelings (heart). Whilst your thoughts are in a wrong framework, your heart is unstable and keeps losing on the right condition in Jesus’ perspective.

Previously, people would describe me as a crazy and very jealous woman, full of insecurities. At that moment, I would justify it from the pain that I have been through and caused by other people (including my ex-husband). Yes, I may get jealous as a wife, but I had a choice not to be crazy with my emotions. But I did not choose that choice because my heart was not in the right condition with Jesus Christ. However, it was part of knowing who I was, and the Lord revealed my heart’s condition. It is a process to know ourselves before the Lord and most of the time; it is difficult. I was too emotional. I realized I was selfish. I had a great intention for my (ex) husband and our marriage. But the motives I had were to satisfy myself in happiness and living a fortunate marriage that I have been waiting for. Thus, in another relationship, I kept on serving myself. I thought I was only sharing the love of Jesus, eventually; I was trying to change them.

The noises in my heart keep me from listening to what the heart of Jesus is telling me. If our heart is self-serving, we cannot hear the selfless heart of Jesus. I did not hear what God was trying to tell me because I was too busy serving myself. I was too occupied to serve my heart. It says in the bible, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” Jeremiah 17:9, NKJV. However, God allowed me to pass through the fire to refine my selfish heart into His. It broke my heart and confronted the noises of pride, anger, and selfish state of it. My circumstances did not change, even if I prayed so much about it. Sometimes, God does not change our circumstance because He wants to change us first. And it was what exactly God was telling me.

I came to understand it when my heart was so broken and my mind was so exhausted. Every so often, when a person is at the rock bottom of its life, we find something to cling into. It is a nature in us to find a way. There are only two ways to go, worldly way or Jesus’ way. A worldly way includes our own way, our own strength, anticipating that we can do it on our own. Looking at something that temporarily forgets our situation such as drinking, bad influence of friends, etc. It is a way that makes us cowards to face our hearts’ condition. We cannot truly heal in a worldly way. But it is merely in Jesus’ way that we can find true healing and transformation, if we will surrender and believe. The road to Jesus’ way is difficult. It is a long process because it builds our Christ-like character and faith. It takes perseverance and patience to go on with the process of transformation.

During the time of my emotional distress, I have learned to surrender to Jesus Christ the weight of it through fervent and continuous prayers. It is not a quick change, but glory to glory, the Lord was guiding me how to rest on His comfort. He commanded us in Matthew 11:28 to rest, “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” I gave my worn out heart to Him without reserving my own motives. I gave it all. Nothing left for me. I threw my own desires to Jesus. I trusted Jesus that He would heal me and helped me through it. It kept me on praying and asking for help from Jesus even in times of the hardest moment to pray. Thus, being intentional in prayer is a way to open our heart to receive Jesus’ heart.

We cannot hear the Lord if our heart is full of emotional distress. We need to be healed first before we hear the heart of Jesus Christ. The moment my heart was angry, the Lord gave me Ezekiel 36:26-27 twice, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them.”

Listen!! Give your weary heart to Jesus Christ so you can hear the heart of His. Keep the voice of the Lord from the deepest of your soul– your NEW HEART.